|
|
|
|
WARNING: This column is not for the timid! The views expressed in this column are the raw, unfiltered words of LadyJ herself, and do not necessarily represent the views of anyone but LadyJ. Persons of sensitive disposition and those with heart conditions should proceed with extreme caution!
This article and all others appearing under the "Ask LadyJ" banner are for entertainment purposes only. No opinions expressed in this column should be interpreted as medical, legal, or psychiatric advice. "Ask LadyJ" may contain adult subjects and language, and should not be viewed by children. |
|
Well folks, welcome to the first edition of Ask LadyJ. I've been sorting through the submissions, and considering what there was to work with, I did the best I could. However, I think this might be a little more fun for everyone if you people signed your future submissions with kitschy things like "Depressed In Detroit" or "Ready To Implode From Frustration".
Dear LadyJ, I met a guy a couple days ago. He wanted to kiss me and I turned to give him just a kiss, but he instead frenched me. I moved back and he kept leaning on me, leaving me with a drink of his spit! Ewwww! I really don't want to date him and called him to tell him that I want to be friends, then he called me a couple days later and asked if there was any chance that we could be a couple, he also apoligized for the kiss. I'm 13 years old and my family knows something is wrong, cause I didn't tell them what happened. Whenever I get off the phone with this guy I get so scared, and think that he'll do it again. How do I tell him I don't want him, or do you think I should give him another chance? Please Help!!!!! Sincerely, Netaly Sweetie, I have news for you. When a guy asks if he can kiss you, he is asking if he can stick his tongue down your throat. I realize that you are only 13, but this is a grown-up world you're entering into, and kissing a guy is not the same as kissing your mom. I would like to congratulate you on your distaste of this dud, however. First of all, guys who ask if they can kiss you are generally complete dweebs. A real man can usually sense if the moment is right for both of you, and knows how to read you well enough to know if his kiss is going to be well received or not. Also, if his kiss was as disgustingly damp as you described it to be, this freak has got to learn to curb the drooling. A good kiss isn't chaste and dry with no tongue, but you shouldn't have to bathe in his spit either. Well, not yet anyway, you're too young for that. Netaly, you really need to bite the bullet and tell this guy to take a hike. "Let's be friends" is a cop-out to avoid taking reponsibility for not liking a person. If you only met this person a few days ago, he shouldn't take too long to recover from your brush-off. If it makes you uncomfortable even to talk to him on the phone, there is definitely no reason to want to have a platonic friendship with this guy. LadyJ, My wife is driving me crazy, What do I do? Bruce Hmmm, I can answer that one with a riddle: Q: What do Antarctica and your wife's g-spot have in common? A: You know they exist, but you don't much care. See Bruce, if your stamina in bed is reflected by your stamina in letter-writing, perhaps your wife has some unresolved tension. Maybe if you had a little more staying power, she wouldn't be so hard to be around. Okay, okay, perhaps I have been a bit harsh. However, I don't know how you expect me to advise you if you give me no details. I can only extrapolate from your unwillingness to elaborate, that you don't really seem to have much concern for anything except what you are feeling at this moment. This indicates to me that you have either no wish to understand her feelings, or you aren't able to. If you knew why she drove you crazy, you might be better equipped to discuss, and resolve the problems you are having with your wife. Communication is one of the things most needed to keep a relationship strong. I think that if you really step back and examine how you feel, and ask her what's going on with her, perhaps you two might have a chance. |
|
Born and raised in NYC, LadyJ developed a quick wit and an acid tongue to entertain her friends, and cut down those foolish enough to oppose her. This abrasiveness earned her a reputation as a heartless bitch in some circles, but those closest to her still believe she has a great capacity for understanding and caring, and a talent for advice. On this website, LadyJ offers herself both to help those who ask her advice, and to entertain those who find her humorous. Those who fall into neither category are leftovers, and we all know that no one likes leftovers. So, if you have a problem that you need help with, and the courage to accept her advice...
Special thanks to The Geckoplex for its help in launching and promoting the advice of LadyJ. |