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WARNING: This column is not for the timid! The views expressed in this column are the raw, unfiltered words of LadyJ herself, and do not necessarily represent the views of anyone but LadyJ. Persons of sensitive disposition and those with heart conditions should proceed with extreme caution!
This article and all others appearing under the "Ask LadyJ" banner are for entertainment purposes only. No opinions expressed in this column should be interpreted as medical, legal, or psychiatric advice. "Ask LadyJ" may contain adult subjects and language, and should not be viewed by children. |
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LadyJ, my girlfriend and I both frequent adult entertainment facilities, sometimes referred to as "nudie bars". Lately, she has been taking a stripper home with us, and having sex with her. So far this has happened twice, and both times, even though I had two beautiful, naked women in front of me pleasing each other, I was not able to have an erection. This is a problem because I very much would like to join in. It's also a problem because I usually can get an erection sitting in a DMV office, and I don't understand this. Can you help?
- Flaccid in Florida. Well. Flaccid, first off I guess I should inform you that this is not Playboy. We don't for a minute believe that this ever happened. However, for argument's sake, I'll treat your anecdote as the truth. *rolling eyes* You are suffering from "Performance Anxiety". The only way to conquer this problem is to downplay the importance of the result to yourself. You see these incidents as huge events, and because of this you feel pressured to perform. If you learned to be a little more relaxed about the situation, it would come more naturally to you. In layman's terms: Don't think about your willie. It certainly helps the rest of us not to. Another factor you should consider is chemicals. If at these clubs you are drinking alcohol, or doing any kind of recreational drugs, your sexual performance can be affected. If that has been the case previously, try going it sober the next time it happens. I would think that you'd want the memories to be as crisp and clear in your mind as these fantasies of yours are. As for getting an erection at the DMV, lucky you! All I ever got at the DMV is surly attitudes, instructions to wait for a million years, and a bad picture. Maybe you and your chicks should try to have sex in the DMV. Dear Lady J: Since January 24th,1997 I've become an internet junkie .I'm getting only 3-4 hours of sleep at night, and I'm not even watching tv anymore I must have literally dozens of tapes of the tv show I used to watch to hopefully watch them one day. Furthermore, I used to go gambling at the local Native American casino 3 to 4 times a week... that is down to once a week or less . Have I substituted one addiction for another? i s this a healthy approach? Please comment Thank You, (Unsigned) Indeed, you seem to be prone to addictive behavior. I am really the wrong person to tell you how much is too much, however. I am very good at knowing when to quit at gambling(see my Blotto! totals), but I spend probably way too much time on irc. I guess the only way to gauge it is to see the effect it has on the rest of your life. When you're at a movie, do you think to yourself, "I could be sitting at my computer right now..." When you're having sex, do you wonder if those people who took over your channel are gone? Do you even ever have sex? It's cool to want to rush home to see this week's Deep Space Nine. It's cool to enjoy wagering money when you spend a day in the casinos. It's cool to have a few drinks at a party. It's cool to play Magic: The Gathering every once in a while. The key is moderation. The minute you find yourself rescheduling your wedding because it conflicts with the rebroadcast of your favorite episode, or taking out a loan so you can bet a wad on that number on the roulette wheel, or drinking a bottle of Cuervo before you go out to get drunk with friends, or selling your car to buy some guy's cards... that's when you need to stop. Your body needs sleep, whether it is out and about in casinos or sitting in front of a glowing screen. Three to four hours doesn't cut it. I'd say that your irc time is what you should cut from to make time to sleep. |
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Born and raised in NYC, LadyJ developed a quick wit and an acid tongue to entertain her friends, and cut down those foolish enough to oppose her. This abrasiveness earned her a reputation as a heartless bitch in some circles, but those closest to her still believe she has a great capacity for understanding and caring, and a talent for advice. On this website, LadyJ offers herself both to help those who ask her advice, and to entertain those who find her humorous. Those who fall into neither category are leftovers, and we all know that no one likes leftovers. So, if you have a problem that you need help with, and the courage to accept her advice...
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