Ask LadyJ
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Welcome again, dear readers! You're looking at a very happy LadyJ. I've had many exciting things happen in the past couple of weeks! I've launched my new site, and I've gotten a new job! I've also gotten a new haircut, but that didn't turn out nearly as wonderfully as my job hunting and webmastering.

Lady J,
Do you believe knights and chivalry still exist in the 90's and do you believe there is still a place in society for them. The council awaits your decision.
The Kodiak

Knights? Yes, I believe they still exist. Look at Sir Anthony Hopkins and Sir Elton John. Chilvary? Well, that's a bit more involved...

Merriam Webster defines chivalry thusly:

  1. : mounted men-at-arms
  2. archaic a : martial valor b : knightly skill
  3. : gallant or distinguished gentlemen
  4. : the system, spirit, or customs of medieval knighthood
  5. : the qualities of the ideal knight : chivalrous conduct

Let's examine these.

Mounted men-at-arms? Sure, I've seen the horsey cops. They don't seem too frightening, though... it's more like, "Awwww, look, a horsey!" than perhaps, "Oh criminy! The horsey cops are coming!" I doubt very seriously if dangerous villains would feel differently.

Martial valor? Knightly skill? Well, Merriam Webster said it was archaic. I think they meant the usage of the term, but the actual concepts are pretty archaic as well. We live in a push-button age. It's far too easy to kill people these days, and I think that the valor and skill that used to be necessary in order to effectively accomplish that are no longer at issue.

Gallant or distinguished gentlemen? There are so few of these nowadays as to be obsolete. A young girl's fantasies are less and less likely to be of an elegant, polite man and they are to be of an exciting, hedonistic boy. Okay, perhaps I am a bit unfair. I have met a few men in my life who could be described as gallant, perhaps even distinguished. However, in each case for one reason or another, I'm no longer, or never was, involved with any of them. Perhaps it's sour grapes, or perhaps there is no such thing as a man with so few flaws.

The system, spirit, or customs of medieval knighthood? One word... "medieval". It ends there, my friend.

The qualities of the ideal knight : chivalrous conduct? I hate to burst your bubble, sweetie-pie, but there was never any such thing. That shining armor becomes tarnished after a short time. The good sir knights have always done horrible things, some in the name of their crown, and some just by way of being the men of limited education they usually were. Even Sir Lancelot, the epitome of storybook knighthood, had an affair with his King's wife.

Think about it. These gallant, distinguished gentlemen rarely, if ever, bathed. They wore the same clothes and nasty metals for weeks and months at a time. They treated most women like property, and looked down their noses at "common folk". The only things truly important to these men were their station in life, the favor of their King and (for some) their God, and the monetary gain to be had from the execution of their duties.

To get back to the object of this column, which is advice, I have a suggestion. Stop romanticising the past. It was as bad as the present, if not worse. Focus on today, and make it better for tomorrow. Hold fast to your values, but don't attribute them to some ridiculous set of doctrines that you know as "chivalry". Instead, do what you know to be right, and leave the ridiculousness of those who have gone before you where it belongs - in the past.


Born and raised in NYC, LadyJ developed a quick wit and an acid tongue to entertain her friends, and cut down those foolish enough to oppose her.

This abrasiveness earned her a reputation as a heartless bitch in some circles, but those closest to her still believe she has a great capacity for understanding and caring, and a talent for advice.

On this website, LadyJ offers herself both to help those who ask her advice, and to entertain those who find her humorous. Those who fall into neither category are leftovers, and we all know that no one likes leftovers.

So, if you have a problem that you need help with, and the courage to accept her advice...

Ask LadyJ!

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