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WARNING: This column is not for the timid! The views expressed in this column are the raw, unfiltered words of LadyJ herself, and do not necessarily represent the views of anyone but LadyJ. Persons of sensitive disposition and those with heart conditions should proceed with extreme caution!
This article and all others appearing under the "Ask LadyJ" banner are for entertainment purposes only. No opinions expressed in this column should be interpreted as medical, legal, or psychiatric advice. "Ask LadyJ" may contain adult subjects and language, and should not be viewed by children. |
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As I opened my mailbox to find the letters I would use for this week's column, I received a mailed reply to a post I had made on Usenet. In my post, I mentioned that heavy women should be wary of "chubby chasers", because in my experience, many of them have been weird. By no means does this apply to every "fat fetshist", but it is a matter that certainly deserves attention. Hi LadyJ: you've had problems with men who like fat women? I just wish I could find some. I'm becoming involved in the FA (fat acceptance) movement...any words of warning you'd like to share with me? Sure! Besides the inevitable weirdo who just has some fetish, there are men who go for fat women because they are generally easy marks, emotionally. Women who are fat generally have some hangups about their appearance, and will jump at almost any man who makes an advance (I'm proud to say I've used better judgement than that on occasion). These men will invariably ply the woman with compliments, build up her esteem, make her so emotionally dependent that she cannot fathom being alone or finding someone better, and the praise will make her feel complete. The control is the ultimate thing. Some go so far as to be emotionally, or even physically, abusive after that, turning the control level up a few notches... pushing the woman to a point where she is much worse off than she ever could possibly be alone, but she will keep thinking "at least I am not alone, at least I am not alone". It's not just a fat woman thing, but fat women make ready victims, for the reasons I've just explained. Whatever you do, hon... maintain some independence. Love yourself ultimately, whether in the face of praise or criticism. Above all, if someone whom you love makes you feel bad, especially on a regular basis, examine that thoroughly for hidden motives. Dear LadyJ, There is this advice column that I love. It was great when it started, and recently its gotten better and better. But the columnist has stopped updating? I thought she could have lost confidence, but no, that can't be, the quality is to obviously good. Then I thought she could be depressed. But how could a smart witty woman with fabulous tits and an enchanting smile be depressed? Then I thought she could be bored. But how could someone be bored pleasing readers like me? I'm confused, LadyJ. Sincerely, Wondering. Now, normally I would scold a querant for commenting on my breasts, since the pics of me on the web are not very revealing, and any comment made about my body would therefore be unfounded. However, This querent has met me in person, and he is incredibly charming, to boot. Wondering, I'll level with you. There have been times during the past year when I was simply too caught up in this deluge of life to really step back and contemplate the rain. I've been juggling a lot of responsibilities, and sometimes this column gets to be more like a chore than the leisure time activity it was when I began it. I usually manage to complete the chore, and afterwards I realize that it did have a relaxing, even cathartic, effect. I then go on with my week and repeat the cycle. Perhaps I am getting more bitter and jaded than I was a year ago. Perhaps I am jaded about my bitterness. Perhaps I just wish that my column would receive some more recognition. I don't know, but I continue to write it, and for now at least, I continue to get some enjoyment out of it. If any of my readers are interested in sending a friend to Ask LadyJ, it can be reached by anyone (even non-geckoplex members) at http://www.ladyj.net/advice/. I'm looking for more readers like my friend, Mr. Wondering, and like the rest of you, too. |
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Born and raised in NYC, LadyJ developed a quick wit and an acid tongue to entertain her friends, and cut down those foolish enough to oppose her. This abrasiveness earned her a reputation as a heartless bitch in some circles, but those closest to her still believe she has a great capacity for understanding and caring, and a talent for advice. On this website, LadyJ offers herself both to help those who ask her advice, and to entertain those who find her humorous. Those who fall into neither category are leftovers, and we all know that no one likes leftovers. So, if you have a problem that you need help with, and the courage to accept her advice...
Special thanks to The Geckoplex for its help in launching and promoting the advice of LadyJ. |