Ask LadyJ
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I went on and on about how well adjusted I have become... so today my shrink tells me that her rotation is up and she's headed to the research department starting in July. Now I have to break in a whole new shrink. I have to establish a whole new relationship with a whole new person... and I don't even like people much. Well, at least now I have an abandonment issue to work through, and we won't be stuck for material.

So, today's lesson is to Remain Jaded. The minute you start appreciating life, all that you appreciate will be robbed from you. If you hate everything, you'll get to have it around for a good long time. If you can't have happiness, at least you can have consistency.

Dear LadyJ,
Y do u suck so much? U thenk u r cool, but in the Real World, u reelly suck. If u dont like my jokes or opinnons, then u can set on it and rotate. Wo gives a crap abut gramer and spaling? I shure doont.
Cinserly Beavis & Butt-head

PmS- did I spall thes rite?

Well, boys, you certainly have shown me. I have been put in my place. I'll not step out of line again. I have seen the error of my ways. I have been enlightened. I have committed the sin of pride, and I shall repent.

Or maybe not.


LadyJ
I'm a 16 year old female from albera with a guy problem and was hoping you could help me.

The other day my boyfriend was over at my house and we ended up having sex...he's 18 and it was his first time...second time for me. After we we were done we had to leave or he would be late for an interview. The whole car ride there he didn't say a word to me except to ask me to drop him off at his house instead. Now he's saying that it was pretty much all my fault that it happened. We did use a condom but not till he was right about to cum. Now both of as are concerned about pregnancy..him more then me. Just before this whole incident happened I met a guy who seems way better for me then my current boyfriend...me and this new guy are getting together to get to know one another and there is a very good chance that him and I might end up having sex because I am spending the night at his house...you also have to understand that him and I have been classified as nympho's.

Now I am contemplating breaking up with my current boyfriend for a number of reasons...one is that he can't give me what I want/need..another being that he criticizes me and some of my family alot and another is that he blames pretty much this whole thing on me. I also only get to see him once a week which for me is not enough.

Most of my friends I have talked to about this have suggested breaking up with him and going out with the other guy...even when I first started going out with him all of my friends said that he wasn't my type and that I should find someone more sexual and more caring.

Sexually Confused

First of all, the thing that immediately screams for my attention is that you "did use a condom but not till he was right about to cum."

Bad! Bad! Bad! Such activity offers no protection against sexually transmitted diseases, and isn't even effective as birth control. Even before ejaculation, thousands upon thousands of sperm are released in that stuff people refer to as "precum". The use of a condom at the last minute is as ineffective as "pulling out". Moreover, it gives you a false sense of security. Don't kid yourself into thinking you're taking precautions when you do that.

That aside, let's get to the whole boyfriend mess. From what you've told me, there is absolutely no reason to stay with your current boyfriend. He seems emotionally abusive. He says mean things about your family, he doesn't spend enough time with you, he doesn't seem to be concerned about your needs, and worst of all, he blames you for a sexual encounter. What's the question here? To me, it is glaringly obvious that you should very much not be with this person.

As for this other guy, perhaps you are being hasty. It seems to me that you are using him to convince yourself that you shouldn't be with your current boyfriend. My advice will always be to spend some time being single after a breakup. You will never learn to be comfortable and happy with yourself if you run from one relationship directly into another. When you run from one guy and hook up with another immediately, more often than not it is because you don't "feel complete" without a boyfriend. This is something you really want to get over, and quickly. If you always seek validation from others, rather than accepting and liking yourself anyway, you will become less and less self-confident, and more and more easily manipulated.

Spend some time being single. At your age, calling yourself a "nympho" is unrealistic. Teenagers are naturally horny. You might want to think about holding off on the sex for a while, though. See, the reason that sex is an adult thing is because sex causes problems alot of the time. Teenagers have enough going on in their lives without the added pressures that come with sex. I know a lot of adults who still don't have their heads together enough to be having sex.

Sure it feels good, but so do a lot of other things. Your self-respect, future, and peace of mind are not worth a roll in the hay. Besides... sex doesn't get really good until you're older and dating guys who've finally figured out what they're doing. Trust me, that's a bit of a way off from 18.


Born and raised in NYC, LadyJ developed a quick wit and an acid tongue to entertain her friends, and cut down those foolish enough to oppose her.

This abrasiveness earned her a reputation as a heartless bitch in some circles, but those closest to her still believe she has a great capacity for understanding and caring, and a talent for advice.

On this website, LadyJ offers herself both to help those who ask her advice, and to entertain those who find her humorous. Those who fall into neither category are leftovers, and we all know that no one likes leftovers.

So, if you have a problem that you need help with, and the courage to accept her advice...

Ask LadyJ!

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