Ask LadyJ
WARNING: This column is not for the timid! The views expressed in this column are the raw, unfiltered words of LadyJ herself, and do not necessarily represent the views of anyone but LadyJ. Persons of sensitive disposition and those with heart conditions should proceed with extreme caution!

This article and all others appearing under the "Ask LadyJ" banner are for entertainment purposes only. No opinions expressed in this column should be interpreted as medical, legal, or psychiatric advice. "Ask LadyJ" may contain adult subjects and language, and should not be viewed by children.
Sorry about the delay. I had a last minute opportunity to go on a trip with my boyfriend. I had no access to a computer on the trip, and I didn't have enough time to send off a column before I left. Besides, the dog ate my homework and the sun was in my eyes.

In any event, since the column is already late by a few days, I'm only going to answer one question. I can't afford to waste the precious few letters I have remaining.

I coach t-ball, and parents are worse than the 5 and 6 year olds! My question is "Without being a complete bastard in front of small children, how should i put them in their place?"

sincerely concerned

Without being a bastard in front of which small children? The players or their parents? You're probably going to have to be a bit of a bastard to the latter group of small children, the ones with the mortgages.

You're going to have to circulate a mailing. Write a letter explaining to the parents that their actions are inappropriate. Don't be afraid to be direct, but don't name names. Remind them that their children are in these games to have fun, to get exercise, and to learn teamwork. Any actions that are detrimental to those goals are unnacceptable.

The mailing might work for a couple of parents, and the rest might continue their shenanigans. Call the culprits on the phone. Tell them exactly what it is that they are doing that is unnacceptable. If they threaten to pull their kids out, tell them how wrong it is to punish a child for his parents' inability to behave. If the parents actually do pull their kids out, pay the remaining kids a couple of bucks to T.P. their bushes.


Born and raised in NYC, LadyJ developed a quick wit and an acid tongue to entertain her friends, and cut down those foolish enough to oppose her.

This abrasiveness earned her a reputation as a heartless bitch in some circles, but those closest to her still believe she has a great capacity for understanding and caring, and a talent for advice.

On this website, LadyJ offers herself both to help those who ask her advice, and to entertain those who find her humorous. Those who fall into neither category are leftovers, and we all know that no one likes leftovers.

So, if you have a problem that you need help with, and the courage to accept her advice...

Ask LadyJ!

Special thanks to The Geckoplex for its help in launching and promoting the advice of LadyJ.