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WARNING: This column is not for the timid! The views expressed in this column are the raw, unfiltered words of LadyJ herself, and do not necessarily represent the views of anyone but LadyJ. Persons of sensitive disposition and those with heart conditions should proceed with extreme caution!
This article and all others appearing under the "Ask LadyJ" banner are for entertainment purposes only. No opinions expressed in this column should be interpreted as medical, legal, or psychiatric advice. "Ask LadyJ" may contain adult subjects and language, and should not be viewed by children. |
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Things have been mighty topsy turvy in the life of LadyJ, and they have been mighty screwy in the headquarters of the Geckoplex. Maybe Chuck Walla has been sabotaging the works or something. If you don't know who Chuck Walla is, that means you're accessing my column from outside the inner Geckoplex, and maybe you should go check that out, eh? That's okay, you can go now. We'll wait for you. La la la... oh, hi. You inside the 'plex yet? Cool, that means you've also found the forum for my column, a bunch of nifty games, some other features, and other forums. These things are all courtesy of two very awesome Californians named Doppler and Skippy. They have been kind enough to give my advice column life, a home, and a spiffy look. Anyway, here's what I have for you. Lady J, Is it just a coincidence that the people who are having trouble in their love lives also have trouble writing complete sentences? Swifty Actually, I have spent years supporting the theory that proper spelling, grammar, and sentence structure is the first step to true harmony. I am fairly content, and reasonably happy, but I still make a few mistakes, which is why complete happiness is always just out of reach. I strive for perfection in my composition, though. One day I will have achieved it, and things will just fall right into place with a resounding "click." From there, I will ascend to the next step in harmony seeking, The Sunday Times Crossword Puzzle. dear ladyj, well, here's the thing. i met this girl over irc, and we became best friends. my boyfriend made plans to stay with her when he went to australia, and while he was gone, she and i managed to fall in love. i don't know how, but we did. so i made plans to go to australia, although they were mainly to see her, not my b/f. well, she and i met and had a wonderful time together. at the time, she was engaged to a man, and *told* me she planned on breaking the engagemnt and coming to the states to live with me and marry me. so i broke up with my b/f, which i now totally regret. to make a very long story short, about a month after i came home, i received a letter from her in the mail, saying she still loved me, and meant everything she ever said to me or did with me, but she had fallen back in love with her fiance and wouldn't leave him. she said she was breaking her own heart as much as she was mine. at that point, i made the decision to get on with my life and forget about her. i mailed her a letter telling her to pretty much leave me alone, and mailed her her ring back. then, about three or four weeks later, i got another letter from her. she wanted to know how i felt about everything (i guess she hadn't gotten my first letter yet) and if i wanted to still be friends or if i hated her. part of me *does* hate her, because she essentially left me with nothing (i gave up everything i had to go to australia), but part of me understands. nontheless, i've moved on and don't really want to rehash everything. should i write back to her? or should i just put the letters away and call it the past? thanks : ) It seems to me that she wants to be absolved of guilt for the pain she has caused you. That is probably the overriding factor in her wish for things to be okay between you. That, plus contingency planning in case of more problems with her fiance. Don't give her the satisfaction. If you write back to her, you keep the pain alive. You leave yourself open to further manipulation, and more hurt. If you don't write back, you get robbed of a feeling of closure. However, you did have closure until she wrote back to you. You mailed her ring back and put her aside. If you can be content in that, then you should definitely not continue this correspondence. She has already screwed you out of a few things in your life. Don't give her any more of your time and energy. In response to the June 6, 1997 article I think that you dont suck and that you have a nice ass. Thank you very much for your kind words and support. However, as I stated in that column, I do suck. We all suck. It's part of what makes us human. We learn it as infants and do it at various times throughout our lives as necessary. For the same reasons that I cannot accept that person's assessment of the appearance of my ass, I cannot accept yours. At no time has there ever been a picture of my ass posted to the web. Speculation about appearance based on writings is unfair and probably inaccurate. People who wish to comment on why they like or dislike a person should support their opinions with examples of characteristics that are evident, not imagined. Otherwise, you could just as well extrapolate from my writing that I am a 42 foot tall neon pink dinosaur with wheels on my ankles, depending on your level of creativity. |
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Born and raised in NYC, LadyJ developed a quick wit and an acid tongue to entertain her friends, and cut down those foolish enough to oppose her. This abrasiveness earned her a reputation as a heartless bitch in some circles, but those closest to her still believe she has a great capacity for understanding and caring, and a talent for advice. On this website, LadyJ offers herself both to help those who ask her advice, and to entertain those who find her humorous. Those who fall into neither category are leftovers, and we all know that no one likes leftovers. So, if you have a problem that you need help with, and the courage to accept her advice...
Special thanks to The Geckoplex for its help in launching and promoting the advice of LadyJ. |