|
|
|
|
WARNING: This column is not for the timid! The views expressed in this column are the raw, unfiltered words of LadyJ herself, and do not necessarily represent the views of anyone but LadyJ. Persons of sensitive disposition and those with heart conditions should proceed with extreme caution!
This article and all others appearing under the "Ask LadyJ" banner are for entertainment purposes only. No opinions expressed in this column should be interpreted as medical, legal, or psychiatric advice. "Ask LadyJ" may contain adult subjects and language, and should not be viewed by children. |
|
Greetz, peeps! Soon to come to The Geckoplex, an Ask LadyJ FAQ. Keep your eyes peeled (Keep your eyes peeled? What a gruesome image! How are they supposed to read my column if their eyes are peeled like grapes? Eww, besides!), or rather, be on the lookout. Dear LadyJ, I've just started reading your column and I enjoy it very much. You provide witty and humor responses, yet most cases also helpful ones. I just have a problem with my love life... If you can't help, I understand... My problem is that I'm so obsessed with romance novels that I never let guys get close to me because they aren't perfect like the romantic men of my literature... What can I do? Sincerely, A Hopeless Romantic Hopeless, thank you very much for your kind words about my writing. However, if you call romance novels "literature", I can't be too enthused about your praise. Perfect men in romance novels are not real. To be honest, they'd be very, very boring even if they were real, and many of them would probably turn out to be gay. Such is the curse of reality. There are few straight, good looking, interesting men, and there are none that are perfect. Nobody's perfect. You're really going to have to see these characters for the fiction and fantasy that they are, and learn to embrace reality. I don't advise you to be in a rush to find a man, but your standards must not be shaped by words in a cheap paperback book. Learn to see good characteristics in people first, and develop acceptance of personal quirks that might otherwise detract from the overall package. You may even come to view some of them as endearing one day. Jessica, does it ever strike you that you are quite obviously attacking those seeking your advice in order to cultivate a following of people who thrive off seeing public flayings? Your page very much gives me an image of a talk show, with you as Ricki Lake. It seems to me as though you have forgotten or forsaken the traditional line that separates advice from opinion. You label your page as an advice page, but offer your opinion. Sometimes (see 6/12:It's the thoughtlessness....) you evade advice completely, instead settling for a public flame of someone who comes to you for help. Advice is a balanced, formulated plan to help someone: the trick there is to step OUT of your opinions and prejudices, and to step into your patient's shoes. Yours is not advice- it is an opinion, and those who you disagree with are ridiculed. How does this help, I ask you? Your page is proof that anyone with a domain name and web space fancies themself a professional. Any useful advice I have seen on your page, few and far between indeed, (see 3/6) has been copied straight from a self-help book. Jessica, you have proven a truly imaginative and quite acid command of the English language, but your use for it is off-target. Self-promotion should not be your goal. And besides, your claim of "Advice, New York Style!" places a terrible stigma on New York. --nick Actually, the people who seek my advice are a mixture of the type you described, and the type of person who is so staunchly convinced of his or her misguided opinion as to be laughable. I'm sure there is room for a few other types, but I've not given the analysis much thought, and I don't care to at this moment. Your comparison of me to Ricki Lake might at one point have upset me, but at this moment, it seems close enough to a suitable description. I provide entertainment, and a few nuggets of wisdom. I let people say what they want to say... but the difference is that I have no qualms about being nasty to people. Moreover, I think I'm smarter and funnier. If anything, I model myself more closely after the columnist Dan Savage, and hope to one day strike the balance he achieves with his advice column, without having to become a gay male to do it. On a few occasions, I dare say I have struck that balance, but for the most part it's been either humor or helpfulness. I make no claims that I will manage both simultaneously. I quote: "... LadyJ offers herself both to help those who ask her advice, and to entertain those who find her humorous. Those who fall into neither category are leftovers, and we all know that no one likes leftovers." Moreover, there is a warning at the top of every page that states: "This article and all others appearing under the 'Ask LadyJ' banner are for entertainment purposes only. No opinions expressed in this column should be interpreted as medical, legal, or psychiatric advice. 'Ask LadyJ' may contain adult subjects and language, and should not be viewed by children." There are a number of other advice pages out there on the web that I have stumbled upon since I began this endeavor. Very few of them approach the concept seriously, and fewer still offer genuine advice, ever. I continue to stand by what I do, and I enjoy the outcome. To answer your accusations of plagiarism, I copied nothing from any book. Those were my own words, and my own beliefs. Perhaps you're suggesting that I should write a self help book, myself. If my advice sounded like a self help book, maybe I'm not so bad at advice after all, eh? As for self promotion, I enjoy talking about myself, and I am a truly hedonistic individual. My webspace and domain do not make me anything, they are simply a means by which I can express myself. I never fancied myself a professional, but what better tool than html to practice to become one? In response to your final comment, here's the deal. I am a New Yorker. I have always been a New Yorker. I believe that people are as much created by their surroundings as by any other one thing. My acerbic wit and my varying shades of interest in others (from voyeurism to complete disinterest) are, in my opinion, inherently New Yorkesque. Believe me, New York can take any stigma placed on it by any of my words. It's a tough town. In closing, I appreciate your viewpoint. I have considered your words, and I simply disagree with them. However, you have presented them coherently, and with a minimum of grammatical error. I have respect for that, and for that, you may live. |
|
Born and raised in NYC, LadyJ developed a quick wit and an acid tongue to entertain her friends, and cut down those foolish enough to oppose her. This abrasiveness earned her a reputation as a heartless bitch in some circles, but those closest to her still believe she has a great capacity for understanding and caring, and a talent for advice. On this website, LadyJ offers herself both to help those who ask her advice, and to entertain those who find her humorous. Those who fall into neither category are leftovers, and we all know that no one likes leftovers. So, if you have a problem that you need help with, and the courage to accept her advice...
Special thanks to The Geckoplex for its help in launching and promoting the advice of LadyJ. |